Reflections of 2006

You know you've seen him.

The guy who bursts into the party laughing and hugging and smiling and yelling. Everyone else is sober; Pouring their first cup of beer, or mixing Grey Goose and tonic, or sitting comfortably on the sofa as a bottle-service waitress retrieves the evening's nectar.

You're not quite sure how to respond to such lively antics. You crack an awkward grin. It's not a smile, or a frown, but your lips part exposing a faint glow emanating from the pearly whites. You reluctantly accept his hug, hoping to avoid the unnecessary peck on the cheek, and pull away deftly like you're back on the dance floor at fifth grade's Spring social.

You guzzle a few shots. Now the guy is operating at everyone else's pace and, surprisingly, he doesn't seem so obnoxious. You take a few sips of Jager and sample someone's odd-colored martini and suddenly you're toasting, but not sure why.

By the time you've decided to return home you're hugging and kissing anyone within an arm's reach. You're smiling, laughing at nothing in particular, and your inside voice is sooo not inside. Awakening the next morning -- your head throbbing with Patron pain -- all you remember is the obnoxious beginning to the evening. And then it hits you...

You left the way he arrived. ("Fuck!")

That's an exact microcosm of 2006. The dial cranked all the way from the get-go. Days pass, excitement brews, leaving one with only a single option to keep the bass heavy and treble smooth -- break off the knob. And, boy, did we ever in 2006.

MySpace rumbled into the year as an Internet rebel, defiantly independent and captivating a generation's attention. It saunters through the Summer, Fall and Winter as merely a cog in a corporate behemoth's wheel. Will it maintain such fancy come this time next year, or will the tipping point alter the Internet landscape leading us to a bigger, faster and stronger alternative?
Let's get more personal...

The David Xperience began the year militantly loyal to an Italian stallion-ess, yet exits December back on the prowl, shakin'-bakin'-and baby makin' through a swelling sea of fuktastically fabulous hauterflies. I'm lucky. Truly. Both scenarios are welcomed. Looking back, the dots connect. They always do. How will today's dots connect? That's the question I need answered. Now. Yet still I wait...

2006 offered a cornucopia of advancements. Our MySpace pics now flash, slide and fade. The bulletin board functions 70% of the time. Songs play uninterrupted for at least forty-five seconds. Best of all, Jay-Z finally has a legitimate page and Nelly Furtado dropped a new album.
It was a year where relationships blossomed. Weddings, engagement & bachelor parties dominated the Spring and Summer months. It seems like all my buddies took the plunge into holy matrimony. Starting in South Beach. Ending in Laguna. In between, a festival of drunken tomfoolery culminating in a most epic celebration courtesy of the fine folks in Las Vegas.

For all of us, Ryan and Reese split. Kate and Chris did too. TomKat became one. Are Jay-Z and Beyonce next, or will Nick and Vanessa beat 'em to the alter? Better yet, as this Summer's calendar fills with more grandiose weddings will The David Xperience be the last one standing, or does 2007 unleash a succulent surprise? Hmmmm...

Through it all, MySpace is the connecting thread. Mornings feel empty unless bright-red letters greet us -- You have new messages! Afternoons seem quiet unless we have picture comments. Evenings appear lifeless without event invitations painting opportunities for debauchery.

Friends arrive daily. Some fade silently. Others evaporate violently. MySpace churns out friendships here today and gone tomorrow. The marketplace expands. We're perilous to fight it. And yet, we haven't quite figured out how it all works. How relationships are perpetuated beyond the version of reality initiating an exchange, or why some blossom in real-life while others burst into flames when it's no longer just pixels. But enough about MySpace...

Paying tribute to pop culture's undeniably entertaining year is a task best handled through rhyme, since reason is an element missing from it all. Maybe that's why 2006 will be remembered so fondly?

Ryan and Reese ended things, making us sad
Britney's kids ring in the New Year without a dad,
but Madonna got a new kid, and so too did Cruise
while Lohan's year was all about the booze.

The Google guy's splurged,
comic Lewis Black urged,
And all too often Nicole Ritchie purged.

Eminem laid low, ending things with his wife
The Game and 'Fifty continued their strike, but thankfully
there's The Fray teaching us how to save a life.

Jessica and Dane are rumored to have boned,
while Paul McCartney divests half of what he owned,
making us thankful there's Justin whose got us all lovestoned.

Because to live in this world where reality is blurry,
leaves many to ponder why we're in such a hurry,
to become rich and famous and for everyone to know,
that this is just Myspace and I'm not really a ho.

So let's wave goodbye to the past 365,
and remember just how lucky we are to be alive,
because next year's lineup should top it all,
Thanks 2006. We had a ball.

-The David Xperience